Lifestyle – Cornerman

Focus & workflow review time.

I have been redesigning my workflow aimed towards gaining more focus. It’s been a while since I last reviewed my daily, weekly and monthly planning. I have a planning as this is important to maintain my energy over the long term.

As you might know I have braindamage which means I have limited cognitive energy. As does everyone else, mine just drops faster and is more unpredictable.

I can maintain energy in such a way I can more or less predict how good my energy levels will be in the next few days. I have a planning system where I track my energy and can see how I am doing.

It’s a pretty straight forward based points system, for example exercise adds one point, breakfast & morning tasks deduct one. And so on. I have done a few weeks of monitoring and taking notes when I was first in recovery, getting to know how much energy activities cost or how much they give energy, like a half hour power nap or a walk. All in all I can “spend” 28 to 30 points on any day, before the recovery takes to long to be able to “spend” the same amount the next day.

Exact science?

This is not an exact science, there are no guarantees I will be able to sustain this load when I follow my planning but the system gives me a fair chance it will. It’s all about probability really. If I just go hard, there is almost a 100 procent chance I will not be able to do much in the days after, if I follow the chances increase significantly, I have good streaks of several months.

The devil is in the detail, once I am experiencing such a good run I tend to get distracted and forget or ignore my planning, maybe not so much my planning, but the focus, as I recently found out when reviewing my planning after a period of rapid energy loss and bad recovery.

Problem of late, focus.

Once I am feeling good I will deviate from my planning, not so much in spending more hours but taking on more projects, ideas, interests. If I am less energetic I am able to focus on the things that matter the most. The most important project, the fun thing, the hard thing. Whatever it is.

If I have a period of more energy, I tend to lose the focus on the most important things, and start looking at other cool stuff to explore. Which in turn makes everything stall. And nothing, or almost nothing moves forward or gets done.

How do I keep my focus, and why do I lose it so easily?

Attention.

It’s all about directing my attention, which is all over the place on a good day. Which is fine. Your brain needs time to explore ideas and wander. In life goals, interests and priorities change as well. There is however a limit to where you can direct your energy, you can’t deliver your best work on all fronts all the time. You can’t learn to play the piano, learn a new language, build a house, exercise, and do the daily tasks at the some high level. At best, if you can even find the energy to do all of this. It will be mediocre or things take forever to finish.

Which is my problem, too many projects, tasks, activities. So the problem wasn’t the planning in itself. It was the lack of direction and selecting the things most important.

Aligning myself to the important things.

I needed to re-align myself with the things who I value the most. I like working on the most. I have older notes which show you can have a maximum of 3 main projects you can manage. Or activities you love to do is a better description as it doesn’t have to include your day job, but as it’s very convenient if you love your job, it’s nice if it fits. So your job is one, then you have your main interest. Let’s say learning how to play the piano. Or write a book, or rebuild your vintage motor cycle. These are all highly time consuming activities which require focus, consistency and effort.

That doesn’t mean they are fun all the time, it’s just the things you love to do.
So I needed to limit my “projects” again. Make sure they are the things I love to do, the things I really want to put energy and time into and make sure I do them consistently enough to move forward.

So there was no need to rebuild my planning, just select the projects and rethink the steps in these projects and align my activities towards these projects. When I am reading a book, the book should fall into one of the projects. When I have reserved a block of focused work, I am working on the selected projects. This sounds easy enough but if I don’t remind myself of the projects and goals, I tend to divert towards something else.

What has changed?

I didn’t change my planning, I did however added a daily moment of reminding myself of the projects I want to work on and not give myself any other option. And have a few notes in plain sight that remind me of the importance of these projects. Let’s see if it helps.

Another reminder.

If I have a period of higher energy levels it’s also important to not extend myself too much, I can do somewhat more, but I don’t want to overdo it. As it will inevitably lead toward a downward spiral. This is true for everyone. You can get consumed in projects and goals pretty fast, especially of they mean a lot to you personally and require a lot of time and effort. Remind yourself that rest & recovery is essential for being able to show up every day and have the highest chance of doing the work. It’s being consistent that is the most valuable in life, not sprinting a few weeks and than crashing. So be hard and kind to yourself, make sure you prioritize rest, recovery and downtime just as much as the work itself.

Enjoy the process, it might not be fun all the time, but the fun is also in the hard bits.

Working on various things, without a plan, is hard.

Trying to get into a rhythm again isn’t that easy, while I am pretty good at sticking to things I am in an irregular state at the moment. Most of the time I work on projects with a goal in mind. Without trying to get to the goals in the most efficient way.

Meant to leave room for happy accidents, new ideas and changes in goals altogether. It still holds a lot of benefits, having goals. It keeps momentum going.

Having no goals, which I don’t really have at the moment, keeps me from gaining momentum. Which for me at least is a basic need for consistency. Even a vague goal is good enough. But at the moment the goals are not there.

Working on various things, mostly technical.

Now when this happens, it’s hard to rely on just showing up consistently as a clear driver is absent. Luckily there is always something to do. Stuff, things, which as a byproduct, result in ideas.

Unfortunately I tend to lean towards reading manuals, figuring out how things work or trying to sort out technical issues. Which is my comfort zone when having no goals or guidance.

Reading about how inspiration strikes it tends to happen while working on your skills and improving the flow of your process. Which is true, but I have a knack for leaning towards learning more and not playing around and just going with the flow.

So I end up with a lot of notes of how things work and theoretical knowledge and not with some recordings for the archive which later can (and will be used) for finished tracks.

That is a problem.

Play mode

I have not yet figured out how to get into play mode. Which for me, should be grasping a device, or a few and just start jamming and recording, all the while forgetting time and space. I just don’t get into play mode that often. For some reason.

I just need to find a way to just play around more. It happens, but mostly when I don’t have any instruments around, resulting in things ending up in notebooks for later recording, which may or may not happen. In an ideal world I would have just recorded everything.

Keep playing!

Returning to old habits

I have been away for a quite a while. Figuring out what I want to do creatively and making some time for other things. I have been doing more offline stuff but I like publishing stuff. Even if it’s just some random thoughts on life.

But I need some form of consistency again and regular writing is a nice way to get into it again. On the music front I have mainly been doodling around with Eurorack and getting lost in patching, which has been fun. I still struggle with finishing music and looking for ways to limit time spent on one project.

Reading interesting books on creativity led me to the book written by Rick Rubin, the creative act, a way of being. Which goes into the creativity and the proces, not just interesting for all artist but everyone, as we all do a lot of creative stuff in our lives.

The book ranges from practical tips to more philosophical musings around creativity. It’s an easy read and everyone will find something in this book. So if you are looking for a nice holiday book, this can be it.

I am hoping this new start will be the beginning of an old habit returning even if it’s just for myself. Then again I hope you will find it an entertaining read.

Slowing down is helping a lot.

It’s been a while, not much to talk about and not much progress in the creative areas as in finished projects, however small.

Is that a bad thing? No, I have been slowing down a lot and have been working on my projects without any planning, just keeping the focus on consistency. I have also been outside a lot, walking around, running, and sitting down with a book. Logging off, and making sure I enjoy everything.

A strange phenomenon of the modern times is that we are communicating a lot and doing less actual work. Contemplating and thinking requires focus, rest and breathing room. Doomscrolling and other digital addictions only distract from consistent work, and doing nothing is an integral part of the process.

It might be viewed as a badge of honor and work ethic to always be (extremely) busy and planning the calendar as full as possible. All of which is counter productive.

I have done more in way less time this period and enjoying things much more. As I am no longer striving for the maximum result, which mostly meant planning as much time as I could manage on every activity and forgetting to take enough breaks to digest and process my ideas, thinking and learning. And while I already planned breaks and rest, this was just too rigid.

The biggest problem as always is keeping the balance and flow. But skipping a lot of distractions has helped a lot. Even as simple as taking a nice walk without your phone is a great idea. Maybe a dumb phone is an idea? Anyway until next time.

Creativity is Infinite

Infinity is a concept and very real at the same time. All things creative are infinite, whatever it is you do in the creatie realm, you can always think of new ways to do things. Exploring new options, paths and forms.

This is exciting and daunting at the same time. As I have limited my set of musical tools as well as limiting my design framework the possibilities seem even bigger than before.

As my brain is thinking more and more about new ways to operate within the limitations. My brain really loves limits.

It’s really cool but I have no idea how I can manage this into finished projects, albums, Ep’s or songs. Part of the fun and part of my anxiety.

All hard things are well worth doing, it’s finding ways around your fear and make sure you get things done. I am slowly getting better at it. Infinity has a lot of energy in the concept, the word or meaning.

Infinity as energy

For me the best way to look at it is as energy, the sheer idea of infinity gives me the energy to work on my projects. It just gives that extra boost whenever I am stuck, however slow my progress is the meat thought of going back and work some more just lights up my mind. This works for me and might work for you as well.

Infinity as energy is applicable on a lot of (hard) things you need, or want to do. It just gives an extra incentive. By making the process of creativity an infinite one, I seem to get into a zone, or flow state. Which I love to be in. I achieve this the easiest with running and exercising, coding and writing. Music is getting there.

There are other concepts or words you can use to build up a mantra for releasing positive energy into your system and get going. I have managed to add it to my daily meditation practice. This makes sure I think about the concept of infinity everyday. This way it becomes an automated response whenever I need a dose of energy.

Give it a try.

Have a great day!

Creative work – finding space & energy for a routine

In my last post I was talking about my need to scale things down a bit and make sure I get into a habit of working on my creative projects, making music being one of them but not just the single thing I like to work on. Especially given my brain damage, when I can’t digest noise and sound I have to have alternative projects to work on.

Mostly my planning involves fixed moments for working on one of my creative projects or outlets. This doesn’t always work and I tend to fall into the short term attention grabbers when I can’t work on the thing I planned.

So I was looking for a new way to plan my projects and still maintain consistency. I have started categorizing my activities into sections. From things I can do most of the days, even when my cognitive energy is low, to activities I need to be in the best possible form, from a cognitive perspective. Basically I made a list from low energy consumption to high energy consuming activities.

While this seems like a thing which is primarily important for people with problems such as myself. Everyone has limits to their cognitive (and psychological) energy on any given day.

Also everyone experiences fluctuations in their energy, from day to day. I think it can help to acknowledge this and have some sort of idea what the things are that you require a lot of cognitive energy for.

Knowing yourself

Maybe a bit of an open door, but knowing yourself and what your energy levels are is very important in day to day life. Knowing how to recharge yourself and knowing when it’s time to take some rest is key. A lot of people are in the dark about that. As they live their lives under a constant pressure from work, life and other impulses they feel they can’t control.

It’s hard carving out the time to figure out how your cognitive energy is and how to know when your are pushing yourself into the red. This can be the start of a learning experience for anyone. And a very useful one. Just reset for a couple of days. Or longer if you feel this is necessary, and possible.

Reset periods are important, rest is essential. So cramming as much as possible into a holiday period might not be the best option. A lot of people who are good at their job, art, or other activity, take long periods of time off. To rest and think about their next steps. It’s a luxury maybe but it’s more productive in the long run. But in our own time and with the free time we have we can all carve out time to rest and reflect to the best of our abilities.

Also knowing what to focus on makes for better results. In the end the return on time invested is bigger.

Getting back into it.

I have been resting more and being more offline more the last couple of months. Which has helped towards more focus. I also have dedicated more time towards reading, meditation, exercise and mental wellness.

I let go of my timeline and start thinking about where I need to improve. My skills in the creative things I want to do is the main thing I want to improve.

So I have switched from getting output done towards the learning process and finish things when they are ready in my eyes. Not comparing things anymore.
It also set me out on a more Japanese way of thinking, imperfection, focus on learning skills and doing things mindfully and with attention.

Now I am slowly getting back into it. Finding more space and energy for doing the things I love.

Quality first

Our systems put productivity first, rather than skills and quality. This is counterproductive. As we all know, but the day to day hectic schedules and target driven processes in most industries lack the room for a quality focussed approach. Still for your own (creative) work, you can do this. Say no more often and make sure the focus remains on building skills, and putting out the best work possible.

By no means this is perfection, as perfection is a dangerous thing. Perfection kills many great idea. As a concept it’s a good idea. Striving towards the perfect end result is great, as long as you realize you have to finish things as well. As long as learning and focussing on the process of making the art, doing the work is there. The end results will get better and better.

Trying to do too much, taking more time

It’s been a while, I have been experimenting with different forms of outlets and doing more writing and research on other topics rather than music and other creative things. Well to be fair, most things I do require creativity.

I got lost like a kid in a candy store and I took a break. I stopped doing all the little projects and archived most of it. Then I just focussed on learning, reading and thinking.

This reset was interesting in a few ways. It made me rethink why I do things, why I get distracted a lot and can’t seem to find the focus when results are not achieved.

Not that it’s a bad thing perse, I have fun doing all these little things. The only problem is that I don’t get to learn as much as I want on the few main interests that I have.

The other thing I learned was that I don’t take enough time, I have always tried to focus on the process, and not let the goals become too dominant. But a lot of the time these goals and the lack of results got in the way.

It might be because everything these days, and have been for decades is result driven. Everything is not aimed at results, not towards the learning process and making the best possible art, product or service. Which inevitably leads to less time for learning and expanding your skills.

While I was trying to make room for learning and not pay as much attention to the results and goals I have, it took over nonetheless. Leaving me frustrated and aiming for other projects which did produce results.

The time off has reset my focus and made it possible for me to let go of the output and result driven path a bit better. I am not there yet, but I am learning to manage my emotions better.

New ideas and a fresh perspective for 2025

It’s been a minute since my last post on here. I have been working on some new ideas and projects which are smaller in scope and easier to work on for me. My last few projects were way too big in scope and very complicated to get out to the world, for me personally at least.

Going into the new year I am putting no pressure on timelines and the focus is going to be on the process. With the goals as guidance. Whatever gets finished, gets finished. I don’t know how my energy will be and this way I will loose the frustration if I don’t reach my goals. I am pretty good in shaking these feelings of frustration but if I can avoid them I will.

My ideas so far are focussed on learning my tools. The output is less important, up until now I was focussed on the end result and I wanted to get there as fast as possible. The problem is that I didn’t get to know my tools, and time was lost in searching for ways to get my ideas out. I am turning this around, I will let my learning process dictate the ideas I can work on and finish.

So how I am going about getting my learning process in the right shape for me. Let’s see.

Consistency

The most important thing in getting better at anything, which I lack in making music, working on it consistently. All other things I ever got any good at, I worked on in a continuous way. With music, somehow that has always been an issue. I think because I have always done music as a hobby, as an outlet. And never had any intention of releasing anything. This has somewhat changed and I have had periods of consistency in working on music. I have already talked about not viewing it as a hobby anymore, but more as a project. Which has been somewhat successful in getting more consistency in me working on music.

But this has not been enough to get anything going in a way I can easily get my ideas translated into music. Which is always an approximation because you can never get it to sound exactly as it sounds in your head, well at least I can’t.

So more consistent in learning my tools and fixed amount of hours, and getting the work in is the most important for this year.

Minimizing the set of tools

I don’t have a big set of gear, but nevertheless it’s too much. It’s too much to learn in a year. I have always been looking for new gear and interesting ways to use it. The problem is I tend to switch way too much between the tools. One day I make music with these 3 devices, the next day it’s a totally different set of tools.

I have to make a few decisions on what I am going to use and not change it anymore. I have been contemplating selling everything else, but that’s not how I want to gather the discipline.

Small goals

The last few years I have been working on one big project, which is cool as thinking about concepts and sketching is a very nice way to gather my thoughts and make sure I can work on music when I can’t stand sound. Which is pretty often unfortunately, but it also holds me back. Simply because of the size and scope.

I now have to define smaller projects, things I can actually finish and be in line towards the bigger goals. defining a growth path for myself with smaller, manageable milestones.

I am hoping this will make it easier to maintain the workflow, consistency and eventually leads to results.

Moving forward

I have always been doubtful on my musical skillset, the amount of deleted or abandoned projects in my folders is pretty large. I intend to work on releasing more music, whether it’s finished or not. Just to see if I can let it go and call something a demo, work in progress, or finished product and share it.

How I don’t know yet, as the landscape for releasing your creative output is constantly shifting. But this will be something to think about in the future. I am also working on a new format to talk about my music on here. Writing more about the process and progress and the tools I use and am learning how to use. I have not yet found a way to do this and keep it fun to read.

But I will, until next time.

Reflecting on 2024 and moving forward in 2025

As the year’s end is upon us, it’s time to reflect on the year and think about the goals and processes for next year. I am not one for reminiscing but it’s always good to learn from your mistakes and take a good notion of all things that went great, mediocre or downright bad.

I am a firm believer in this quote of Thomas Edison, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

The key to this is that you learn from your mistakes, and a lot of people have no way to learn from their failures as they have no process in place to document any of the steps they take. Even in creative professions and hobby’s (Which I don’t do anymore really, I look at most things in terms of projects. Which leads to better results and ultimately more fun) it is very important to find out what works for you, and how you can build a better process.

Consistency is key, which I have always known and experienced in running, my revalidation process and day to day life. I have not really applied it to hobby’s and creative projects I did until a few years ago.

This year the consistency in music making has gone up, and the biggest improvement in the process is the new creative space. Which has had a very positive impact on everything in the short spaces it’s finished. Next year this will make an even bigger impact.

I have not met my goals this year but I have learned how to be consistent and better at working on the mundane tasks that every creative process and project have, I have organized my output better, done some more in taking notes on ideas and making sure I have a way to find them when I need them. The whole process is much more in sync. All in all I am pretty happy about 2024.

2025

So next year, I have some ideas which I will finalize next week, I am not sure which I will pursue first, it’s a bit random at the moment so I might take January as the month to get the list of ideas in order and set up the environment and plan on how to execute them. Besides music I need some alternative projects so I can switch between activities when I am not able to do music. As my brain damage is an unpredictable factor in everything.

So I need alternatives, so writing, coding and drawing are good contenders as these things can be done most of the time. Projects in these areas also need consistency so I will plan them regardless. It sounds like a lot and maybe it is. But I am giving it a good go.

I would also like to connect with other creative people to learn from them and maybe help them grow and build the right process for them to build a better working environment and process. I have no idea how I am going to do this but it’s something I have been thinking about.

Moving forward is the most important, moving forward can only be done when learning from the past.

Slow and steady

Progress, I am a little late with this weeks update and I have nothing big to report other than I have been going thru boxes and cleaning everything out I have no use for anymore. Which helps with creating space for other things. Mainly mentally as I have postponed this tedious task for a long time. Not finished yet but I am getting there one box at a time.

I have however maintained my weekly minimal hours I have set for working on music or music related things. This mainly being connecting everything up with cables and re arranging everything a few times. I am not there yet workflow wise.

It has been fun discovering how a space influences my thinking on future stuff I want to do. As it is not only a music making space but also needs to be a home office, writing and reading room and in the future once my movements improve a space for drawing. A swift way to transform the space is vital in that respect.

It’s a work in progress, slow and steady. More news on this and other topics next week. See you next week.