Plan A or B

It’s been a few weeks since the post on the test results and in the meantime I have been spending some time on digesting everything, still a lot of questions need to be answered which I will hopefully get to in the next few weeks.

The recovery is now focussed on getting my concentration better when doing mentally intensive tasks. I have to cut up a task in tiny 10 minute pieces and take 10 minute brakes between them and do this for 1 hour. I then have to write all I experience during and after this hour. Also I have to grade my fatigue and general well being beforehand. Did I sleep well, what did I do the day before? That sort of thing. This is important to get a feel of how I perform and feel during a period of intensive activity.

I must admit last few weeks haven’t been easy , I had a bit of a setback after the ‘pressure’ of work went away , it’s not that they pushed me at work it’s just the fact that you want to perform at the best of your abilities. That being out of the way it became apparent how much energy this took away. After a week or so it started too creep in, being tired more often. Feeling fuzzy and unable to think properly. The people at the recovery centre told me this is normal when people go at it with full force, and thus having a few setbacks during the process. Learning to deal with these episodes is the important part.

One important factor which I always forget is to relax and let go , not constantly trying to figure out ways to improve myself and try to work on it all the time, be it consciously or subconsciously. Working harder isn’t the solution , relaxing more is. Which is an adjustment for me at the moment, but one I need to make.

They also pointed out to me I just started to really process what it means and what has actually happened in the past 7 months or so. After this stage I will have more room to accept it and then move forward again. All contributing to my recovery. So after sprinting in the beginning I am back to basics, simply walking.

It’s really strange how this affects your life , impacting almost everything you do on a day to day basis. Ignoring tell-tale signs of fatigue and pushing on is not the way to go. This also means being flexible enough to throw your ‘plan A’ out of the window and having a ‘plan B’ ready just in case. Which I now try to do when I plan my weeks. So if on any given day in the week I will be too tired for an activity I will have a backup activity in place, thus reducing stress from the pressure you put on yourself wanting to finish something.

Like Hannibal did in the old days, so every day can be concluded with ” I love it , when a plan comes together ” .

Portfolio news – July 2016 additions

This month I have added some to an existing position again, first off Ahold Delhaize, which has finalized the merger in July and had an reverse split, there are now less stock available and I got extra dividend. Also less shares. In order to balance this out again I added to this position. I remain very positive about this stock.

I also added to the vanguard dividend appreciation ETF, It’s an product that is composed out of stocks that generate dividends, I do this when I have small amounts of cash left and it’s a low cost way of getting invested and be diversified at the same time. It’s ideal for everyone who doesn’t view finance and investing as a hobby. Because it’s low cost and maintenance free you really don’t have to pay attention and just add on a regular basis. Research shows it’s one of the best if not the best way to be invested, just buy an ETF that follows the index or is based on generating income.

Since I enjoy this as a hobby I tend to buy stocks rather than just ETF’s or other things like mutual funds and index funds. But if you are not, index and income ETF’s are a very good way of investing without having to do all the research into individual securities. And over time the ETF’s probably do better than my hand-picked selection. For me it’s also about the fun of doing the research. Time will tell.

The last addition to the portfolio is Bayer, which is a German company that is active in Healthcare and Agriculture , life science as it is described. It has a history of excellent growth and dividend keeps on going up, it has a good cash flow and isn’t high in debt. It’s maybe a bit on the expensive side at the moment, but I thinks that is generally the case in today’s markets.
Since this is a portfolio for the long term I am not to concerned about the price, and this stock is near it’s year lows so it’s not way too high.

So that’s it for this month, now on to the research for the next additions.

Audion – Alpha

Last week I started listening to the new Audion album, Audion is the Techno alter ego of Matthew Dear. With his new album Alpha he has produced a good Techno album for home listening. Sounds a bit strange , but it’s true. It’s very well produced and has all sorts of cool twists in the tracks, yet maintaining a nice groove.
Even if your not into Techno as much this album can be very enjoyable.

Top tracks are Bob the builder, Sucker, Traanc and Suppa. Give this album a try or 2 , you’ll love it.

July 2016 – Dividend

Another month gone and it’s time for the dividends, Ahold had a special dividend of 1,20 Euro per share due to the reverse split. This was because of the merger with the Belgian supermarket chain Delhaize. A bit of a slow month dividend wise. Keep you all posted on the progress.

01 July 2016 COCA-COLA COMPANY EUR 4,01
02 July 2016 WHOLE FOODS MARKET EUR 1,03
06 July 2016 UNIBAIL-RODAMCO EUR 4,85
15 July 2016 W.P. CAREY INC. REIT EUR 7,48
21 July 2016 AHOLD EUR 12,14
25 July 2016 GENERAL ELECTRIC COMPANY EUR 1,76
27 July 2016 CISCO SYSTEMS INC. EUR 5,56
28 July 2016 WALT DISNEY COMPANY EUR 0,54
29 July 2016 DOW CHEMICAL COMPANY EUR 3,51

36,41

Results Neuro-Psychological tests

Yesterday I got the test result from the neuro pshycological examination. Which wasn’t all that good. My ability to remember, process and react to information has been sharply reduced.
This is the short version of what has come out of these tests. I will receive the full report later on and reflect on it some more then.

What does this mean ? It mostly confirms what I already knew, I am very slow with all tasks that require fast processing and reacting. And it takes a lot of energy. You’re just hoping it would be a bit better. The changes of a full recovery are somewhat diminished now. Or it will take longer I am not sure about that part as of yet. It was a lot of information to take in at once.
The Psychologist said this in the beginning and we can come back as often as we want if we have questions or just want to talk about it. The people at the revalidation centre are all very nice, professional and knowledgeable people and give you all the time and space which is great.

How does it affect me ? Well I need some time too digest this, It’s very good to have a base camp of sorts and being able to climb the mountain with a better route. Up until now I didn’t have a measured set of problem areas, rather I was just experiencing them. This is a good thing as we can now focus on these areas and try and improve them. It had been easier to further recover if the results were better. I have too start and taking even more care of planning my energy, cutting up activities in smaller tasks and make sure I prepare more. In retrospect I was chewing off bigger chunks of cookie than I should have. Shifting the gears back.

One important thing is that I keep exercising, running is great for the brain and being in a good condition helps your overall energy level and ability to cope with this. For now I am off for a run !