Author: Cornerman

Redesigning everyday life – Start climbing

Last week I got permission to start a reintegration project with a foundation that specializes in people with brain damage and getting them back to work, or other meaningful social activity.
My work with the revalidation centre is almost done , I can manage my day to day life pretty well without going into the red. It still takes a lot of careful consideration and planning. But for now it’s more than enough to manage daily things. Next step will be getting back to work, with specialized help, which is paramount. At the recovery centre they do not have this kind of expertise as their focus is on the day to day.

So it was important to get the approval of the government body that issues my social benefits as they need to pay for it. In the old days, before the new law my employer would be responsible for my salary, recovery etc for 2,5 years. Since I just switched jobs and only had my second short term contract out of three maximum, with the new law the government takes this responsibility, and must make sure I get back to work instead of the employer as my contract ended.

the idea behind this law is to reduce the risk for employers and make sure more people get long term contracts. In real life a lot of people only get the 3 short term contracts and then get replaced, especially with generic work. The new law works it’s magic, but that’s another discussion altogether. Just some background to sketch my situation.

So with the government now has taken on the role of employer , I have to make sure everything I want to do and has to do with work related recovery has to be approved. So last week I had a meeting with my case manager and I told my story, and why I already wanted to get a head start with this new trajectory. The main issue is that all things recovery are going slow. And if I want to take the full effect I need to get started.

My case manager understood this perfectly and has worked it out very fast, so last Friday I got the OK and tomorrow I will have my first intake meeting, and hopefully get started quickly. I am looking forward to it as it’s a new step. I can now go forward again. Learning that all things take time was very valuable.

I am now back in the valley , it’s time to start climbing the mountain.

Focus find it and keep it

Focus is something I lack these days, not general focus but the ability too focus on a task for a long time. This wasn’t always the case, as I mentioned before my main fault was in wanting to do to much things that required a lot of focus. Now that that problem is out of the way I needed to get started with developing new projects. I have now come up with a very short list of things I want to do in the coming months, other then recovering.

First thing on the list is writing, simply because it’s the most relaxing thing I have been doing lately. It helps tremendously in calming me down and shaping a form of order in my sometimes chaotic head.

The second thing is getting my physical condition back on track, just as I got back to a nice level my knee gave in and I my running was halted. Now the knee feels solid enough to start working out again, no running yet as I want a final check to make sure it’s not damaged in any way. But some strength and core training I will be planning for the next few weeks to get my blood pumping a bit. And that’s it. No more no less.

There are other projects on the list but for now this is it. The projects are clear and manageable. Which is important. My targets are modest. For writing I want too work on a blog post every day and publish one a week. I will write about stuff that inspires me , gives me energy and helps me in my personal development.

In this process I am also making some minor adjustments, like turning off the sound of my phone so I don’t get distracted. Leaving computers off and only write on paper. Setting very small goals and hitting them. This should help in increasing the focus. It’s very interesting because on a larger scale cutting back and planning already have been producing good results. So on we go.

Minimalism

Watched “Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things”, on minimalism. Short version of the definition is living a meaningful life with less. Less stuff, meaning less material possessions, and stop the never-ending chase of more stuff.

Giving more space for time , perusing life goals , and focussing on experiences and way less on chasing materials possessions. I have been interested in this subject for a while now. The documentary outlines the trade off between time , money, material possessions and valuation of these items in life. So If I buy this product, what will this add to my life. It’s not advertising getting rid of all of your stuff. Just ask the question will owning this make me happier. For example , my record collection is an ongoing source of happiness, listening to the records, feeling the records, cataloguing them (yes even that) makes me happy. So should I get rid of them, no. Because they add value to my life. That’s the important question.

It’s not about living out of a suitcase and owning nothing, it’s about making life interesting, intriguing and happier when you get rid of the things that don’t add value to your life. Changing your way of thinking and getting out of the more and bigger is better rat race , rewards you with more time spend on things you value the most. It reduces your financial obligations and lowers the need for a high paid and high stress job as well as the need to finance your life , or should we say lifestyle.

It’s interesting because when thinking about it, you work hard , have less free time and what do we do in general, we spent our hard earned money as fast as possible in our limited free time. And the race continues. Advertising and popular culture creates this goal people trying to achieve, whether it is consciously or not. And a lot of people seem on auto pilot in that direction in one way or the other.

Trying to think about life differently is hard, for me it is anyway. Because ‘success’ is still measured with your job, financial position and stuff you own. While it should be measured by what makes you happy in life, not what society’s definition of a happy and successful life is. Food for thought.

What’s better ?

What’s better?, interesting question. While having less energy too spend on any given task it also has advantages. I used to do a lot of things simultaneously and as fast as possible , because I wanted to do a lot. I find a lot of stuff worth doing or exploring. And it’s a lot of fun. Learning new stuff. As a result I never really found the focus to concentrate on one particular thing. I always did it all, let’s take hobby’s as an example. I like too listen to music, make music , photography, writing and drawing. Mostly I only did one of these things for an hour a week at most.

This week I looked trough old files I found in a back-up, bits and pieces of sketches, unfinished music and maps of photo’s that never really went anywhere. As I am searching for new ways too train my brain and expanding my focus it needs to be a small task which can easily be cut into very small pieces. Well any of my hobby’s will do this just fine. I have some musical instruments I haven’t mastered yet, this can be nicely done in 10 minute intervals. Editing photo’s or reading about how it actually works can also be cut into little pieces. And writing as well.

By being limited I can now focus better on one thing at a time , and not allow my brain to go all over the place. Because it’s simply too exhausting. When working on stuff for just 10 minutes you need to define the task to strict boundaries. Which has helped creativity enormously. Less is more is really true , well for me now anyway.

What else has become better, time spend with friends and family. Which has always been very valuable, but now I appreciate it much more. This sounds very very cliché , I know. But it’s true. So everyone, you know who you are, Thanks for spending the time and being patient with me.

The time I can now spend on actually working on the recovery has been a better experience then I thought it would be, It’s given me insight in myself and I am now figuring out what’s important. One thing I learned is that everybody needs some time to figure stuff out, taking real rest and moments for reflection. So I encourage everyone to really do this. Not just for an hour but regularly and consistently over time, rest and think about life, it’s worth it.

Writing really helps

Writing seems to really help me sorting out my thoughts and get a clear view. Being unable to do basic problem solving I now write everything down. Mostly on paper.

I also work like this when writing my blogs. I make notes and then work on them over and over again. I can manage these writing sessions pretty well, and they are relaxing.
I am not yet very good at it, but it seems like a nice activity to expand. It can be done almost everywhere , on my own time and when I have enough energy to do it.

As this blog seems like a nice but bit ancient way to get my thoughts out there I will go forward and try to at least write something once a week. I don’t know If that’s a pace I can keep up but it’s worth a try. Only thing to figure out next is how to get anyone to read my ramblings.

Missing the action

Slowly adapting to my new self I am almost confident enough declaring the following , my energy management system works !
Yes it took a lot of time and painstaking tweaking but I now now what I can and can’t do on a given day.

The next step will be figuring out how to up the ante a bit. And the most important part of all , sticking with the slow progress mantra.

I have some experience and some perseverance when it comes to getting things done, for example running , following a nice training plan and feeling the progress almost every step. If I see a clearcut goal I can really get into most stuff and follow my plan. If I think it’s for a well defined and reachable goal.

My biggest asset has always been my ability to break my own boundaries, and thus by doing that almost all the time I reached the majority of my goals.

As I have mentioned before now it’s more important to manage the energy and reach goals without breaking any boundaries. Which for me is as hard as it gets. But I never fully realized this.

Working on stuff until late really made me feel alive, whether this was the smart thing to do , I found the grind very enjoyable.

It made me feel buzzed in some way, working hard and hitting targets is addictive, I now know it is. And after having a few brushes when pushing too hard I always found my way back to it. Even when a lot of the daily stuff is mundane and boring, I now tend to miss the action and dare I say the stress.

Funny how life works , last couple of years I tried to minimize the action and stressful parts of my work and going back to the fun stuff , but how ?

Well mother nature found a way, and in doing so made me realize that I needed too constantly pushing myself, turns out I never wanted too loose the action. I was somehow addicted too it. It’s also the thing I miss the most lately, I read an old ‘Bucket list’ when researching what to do next, and It was full of great stuff I wanted too do , and some I already started. When reading it I also realized that taking on one item off that list would be a massive undertaking, especially doing it in a way not to fall into my own trap of going non stop until it’s done.

I have never been the smartest kid in the room , but by methodically working on stuff and simply putting in the hours I managed most of the time. It has been my greatest asset. Pushing my limits and figuring the rest out as I go. I can no longer rely on this. By learning to do everything ‘slow’ it sucked the fun out of it a bit. The action so to say. It’s a bit terrifying knowing I will not be able to get that part back.

It’s also the automatic braking system I always needed, I more than ever need to pick my battles. It opens up a lot of creativity and possibilities. Figuring out how to apply this is the next step. Progress is here to stay.

Debt reduction versus Cash flow and future risk

It’s something I have been thinking about a lot lately, since borrowing money is cheap at the moment and it’s getting easier to refinance existing debt to lower rates this has me puzzling.

Mostly because I have always had a view of getting rid of it as soon as possible. Now that I have reduced most of my debt it’s been tempting to add a bit of debt in order to generate a bigger passive cash flow. Basically to invest more and get a bigger overall return on my investments. Now that brings a new factor to the table. My one and only debt at the moment is a mortgage on my house. The value of the house exceeds the outstanding debt by a fair sum, the interest is low and secure for the coming 22 years. After 22 years I will be mortgage free anyway. The risk is that I can’t generate enough income to pay the monthly cost.

Since I have been sick this is a risk, I now receive a goverment pay out which is not guaranteed , 2 scenario’s can happen. My condition stays as it is today and I will not be able to return to work , which gives me a stable income from the government. Which is lower than that I can make working in my old profession.

The second is that I return to a job , which will hopefully be possible. The people I work with already prepared me for the fact I can’t return full time and working in my old profession. So again a lower income. By reducing my monthly mortgage payment and interest burden even more agressivly I can minimize risk further.

On the other hand I can probably have I higher rate of return by investing the money in other asset categories, and thus create a cash flow that in the future will pay me much of my monthly costs. Meaning the mortgage and including food, insurance, etc.

For some reason I can’t really figure out a course of action where I feel absolutely comfortable. I know that when I would have been working the risks are much the same but my confidence is somewhat less since I have been sick and progress is going as slow. Maybe this is something to worry about later on in the proces. Well Just wanted to write about this little bit of doubt in my mind. If anyone has some useful advice please feel free to contact me.

October 2016 – Dividend

October is nearing the end and I am once again doing a round of dividends, it’s been a good month on the markets for me and I am slowly getting more insight in how to value company’s.
More on that later though. For now just the numbers.

28-10-2016 Dividend (Product: DOW CHEMICAL COMPANY ) EUR 3,91
26-10-2016 Dividend (Product: CISCO SYSTEMS INC. ) EUR 6,19
25-10-2016 Dividend (Product: GENERAL ELECTRIC ) EUR 4,30
14-10-2016 Dividend (Product: WHOLE FOODS MARKET IN) EUR 1,15
14-10-2016 Dividend (Product: W.P. CAREY INC. REIT) EUR 8,37
3-10-2016 Dividend (Product: COCA-COLA COMPANY (THE) EUR 4,46

Total EUR 28,38

Redesigning everyday life – Change

Change, it’s slowly but surely making it’s way into my everyday life, a change that I meet with resistance one time and embrace on other moments. I am now getting better results from my new planning system and also being a lot more aware of my energy. A challenge is too really relax and take it one day at the time. It’s mostly the day to day stuff that’s getting better. Less crazy dips when I should have been able to avoid those. The avoiding is going well, after being inside for almost a complete week due to a knee injury I found that staying inside actually helped in controlling the amount of incentives , consequently I kept avoiding going outside. Which I am now doing a again every day. I can’t stay inside all the time, so I am now picking that up again. It’s also important too maintain a social life and keep connecting with people. Also something I need to focus on more. The new way of distributing my energy should yield a better base line and more stability in the next 3 or 4 months. After this point I can gradually increase my activities.

With all day to day stuff going better I slowly need too look ahead. I am now trying to get permission to get a coach with a lot of experience in getting people with cognitive problems back to work, since I am now receiving payment via the government they have too approve this. So hopefully I will have a meeting within the next few weeks. So I can get this started.

So all in all many good things, in many small steps.